AUSTIN – After comparing homosexuality to alcoholism in a recent discussion, a representative of Texas governor Rick Perry said he was disappointed in Perry’s glasses.
“Clearly the spectacles have not done what they were supposed to do,” said the rep, “which is to make Governor Perry smarter. We did a lot of extensive research, but it seems that even glasses can’t do it.”
Perry’s team is also looking into other things that would make the governor seem intelligent, no matter what he says. They are looking into smoking jackets, pipes, and even a doctor’s coat.
“We did consider prayer, as the governor is a firm believer in ‘praying the gay away’, but to our knowledge, no one has proven that anyone has been able to ‘pray the stupid way’.”
“It didn’t even work for Michele Bachmann,” added the rep.
In related news, Sen. John McCain voiced his disappointment with Obama for not sending troops to Iraq. “Starting wars with other countries is part of my mantra,” said McCain. “I am now challenging the President to a gripe-off, which I am certain that, unlike the 2008 election, I will win.”