Rick Perry Says Immigration Problem is Conspiracy, “Like Science”


DALLAS – After Governor Rick Perry’s meeting with President Barack Obama this week, Perry says he stands by his immigration conspiracy theory.

“Obama has an ulterior motive regarding the children,” said Perry. “It smells of a conspiracy, just like science. In the Bible, there is no mention of immigrants or science, so what I say must be true.”

“This president is either inept or making some decisions that are not in the best interests of American citizens. That should be my job!”

Perry added that to his knowledge, there has been no scientific proof that science exists. “Even science knows there’s no science!”

Perry’s advisers say that he will pursue his theory until the facts come out, or Perry is elected in 2016. “You can guess which one will actually happen,” said one adviser.

Perry also explained that “we also have record high numbers of Syrians being apprehended at the border.” “These are people that have substantial connections back to terrorist regimes.” Since nothing has actually been proven, however, Politifact Texas suggests that the governor may indeed be talking out of his own ass.

“When it comes to that kind of experience, Governor Perry has years of it,” said a Perry consultant.

In related news, President Obama described his discussion in Dallas with the governor as “a true meeting of mind”…

By clavius42

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