As a result of numerous misguided decisions, including sending Texas National Guard troops to secure the border in order to solve the immigration crisis, many citizens of Texas are now calling for the secession of Texas from Governor Rick Perry.
“We want our children educated, our women treated fairly, and a state-wide ban on bullshit, and this looks like a good place to start,” said one native Texan.
There are already plans to hold rallies calling for support of the radical decision, in hopes of ousting the governor and his ideals.
Perry expressed his shock upon hearing of the movement. “When people said that they hated me, and wanted me to leave the state, I thought it was one of those jokes people have played on me during my time as governor where people pretended to hate me and wanted me to leave the state,” said Rick Perry. “But I guess they mean business this time.”
“If I have learned one thing from this,” added Perry, “then I have failed as a politician.”