A large assortment of comedians, satirists, and talk-show hosts are campaigning for Hair Club for Men member Donald Trump and Michele “Never Met a Fact I Liked” Bachmann to run for president in 2016.
“They’re comedy gold,” said “Tonight Show” host Jimmy Fallon. “If they decide against putting their hats in the ring, it could affect millions of jobs for comedians and comedy writers.”
Bachmann recently said that the Central America immigrant children should be put in “Americanization facilities”, to become “God-fearing, English-speaking Americans, who understand real American values”.
“See? That statement itself could put food on the table for many comics in the industry,” said “Daily Show” host Jon Stewart. “Screw the American people! These guys need to be concerned with the welfare of people who make a living joking about what these morons say.”
Donald Trump said earlier this week that “America needs him as much he needs them”. “Which is to say, not at all,” said Trump. But me and my hair would like to be in the Oval Office in 2016. Better than some Kenyan who’s sinking this country with plans that work.”
“It’s like everything they say is fodder some writers could only dream of,” said late night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel. “SNL couldn’t even come up with these characters, they’re so nuts!”
In related news, a group of Texas comics are praising Texas Governor Rick Perry’s plans for the border. “Huge amounts of stupid are not that hard to come by when it comes to Perry,” explained one comic.