WASHINGTON – Today Senators John McCain and Lindsey Graham said that even if President Obama makes the right decisions concerning the situations in the Ukraine, Syria, and Iraq, they will still not be the right ones.
“This is also not excluding, of course, if he decides to do exactly what we suggested,” said Graham. “In that case, we will blame him for stealing our ideas.”
“It’s a no win situation,” says House Speaker John Boehner. “Our hatred for the President knows no bounds, and we’ll be damned if we’re going to be upstaged by him now!”
Fox News is planning to run a special depending on what Obama chooses to do regarding the many crises, but the two planned specials will both be called “What Obama Did Wrong”.
“Hey, in our little bubble world we are insulated from facts, common sense, and morality,” said Fox News host Sean Hannity. “We can do whatever we want, because of course, we’re always right! At least, that’s what the voices tell us.”
McCain plans to rally against Obama no matter what he does. “I’ve been wrong about pretty much everything,” said McCain, “but that won’t stop me from being wrong about this.”
In other news, Eric Cantor scored a job with an investment firm, but promises that he “will remain as big a douche” as he was when he was House Majority Leader…