A recent poll reflected the results of the mid-term elections Tuesday – a good percentage of Americans are not concerned with education, women’s reproductive rights, affordable healthcare, or starting unwinnable wars.
“And gun control? That’s out the window,” said one American who voted to keep the Republicans in control of Congress. “I say gimme more guns – you don’t need to be too smart to use ’em! And why do kids need to learn so much? All they do is text now anyway!”
“I believe that a bunch of old rich white guys know more about my reproductive system and my rights as a female employee than I do,” said one woman. “What right do I have to question them? And not all Republicans are men – there are plenty more like me who choose to be oblivious about ourselves! And ‘rape’ is one letter away from getting a bad ‘rap’.”
“I say bomb ’em all,” explained one voter. “And if they immigrate and spread Ebola, there should be no survivors. We need the kind of protection that the GOP has provided us time and time again, and if that means tax cuts for the wealthy, why not? The rich have always had our best interests at heart.”
Fox News has reported a sudden increase in viewership after the mid-term elections.
“It’s like Christmas has come early for us,” said host Sean Hannity. “Even if there still is a war on it.”
In related news, the poll conducted also indicates that a good portion of Americans may now be classified as “morons”…