Texas Governor Rick Perry is insisting that he is not guilty of charges against him for abuse of power, and claims that an even higher power will aid in his case.
“God and justice will prevail,” said Perry. “In my last presidential campaign, I prayed for a victory. And God in his infinite wisdom, did what was right. I think he will aid me just as he did then. There’s a plan for every one of us, and God has definite plans for me.”
According to sources close to the Almighty, upon hearing of Perry’s statement, God plans to sue Perry for defamation of character.
Perry blames President Obama for the charges. “This is a purely political move by the President and his party, in that it has nothing to do with the President or his party. But it gives me a good excuse to give to my supporters.”
The governor went through the arrest procedure, including a mug shot that was leaked on the internet. “Given his record,” said the photographer, “he would make a great addition to the criminals in our jail.”
In somewhat related news, the GOP said that they will return soon from vacation with plans to blame Obama for Ferguson, Perry, and Iraq…