WASHINGTON – As the mid-term elections are on the horizon, many Republican candidates are focusing all of their attention on a very important group of voters known in the party as “women”.
“This group, along with the Hispanics, could very well shift the vote our way,” said Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY). “I am actually competing against one of these ‘women’ in my own state. At least she’s not Hispanic.”
“Women”‘s votes have been the most difficult to obtain because of their insistence on control of their own bodies, according to one GOP contender.
“It’s like they know what’s best for themselves,” said the contender. “It puts us in a rather difficult position, when groups which we are courting for votes have minds of their own.”
Insiders have also reported that “women” are actually holding jobs on Fox News, and are even political candidates in the Republican party, but many conservatives feel that the term “women” is being used loosely.
“These ‘women’ are more easily manipulated,” said McConnell. “We don’t have to worry about them. After all, they’re practically men.”
In related news, the GOP is asking for special recognition for encouraging groups they despise to vote for them. “It’s in their best interests, regardless of how much we resent them.”