TAMPA – Tuesday Ann Romney delivered her much anticipated speech to the audience of the Republican National Convention. It was her chance to sing the praises of her husband and official GOP nominee, Mitt Romney.
“Tonight I want to talk to you about love,” she said, “the love I have for my husband, and the love you might eventually have for him as President of the United States. Sure, he’s suffered some recent bumps, but if you get to know him like I do, he will do America proud. Just don’t ask him any questions.”
When news sources asked Mrs. Romney to elaborate, she explained that “it’s very simple, people. Don’t ask him for anything. He knows how to help America. Trust me. That’s all you people need to know.”
Mitt Romney responded by saying, “I would like to thank my wife for saying what I have been trying to tell America – when it comes to my job record or my tax returns, it’s better if you didn’t know.”
Chris Christie also delivered a rousing speech Tuesday, praising Romney and his accomplishments. “Actually, I was referring to my own accomplishments,” explained Christie. “I know Mitt can fix our problems, and I am fully prepared to solve all of them. It’s a question of leadership. Oh, and his too.”
Ann Romney concluded her speech by saying, “today I speak to you as a wife, a mother, and a supporter of dressage. In those terms, America is Rafalca, and Mitt is the rider who seems like he’s not moving at all. But he is, and given the chance, he will mount America and ride her for all it’s worth…”