Kim Jong-un Replaces Fox News as Top Fear Mongerer


In a recent Gallup poll, a majority of Americans said that they felt that Fox News is losing its edge on scaring people, and that North Korea leader Kim Jong-un now holds the coveted title of “top fear mongerer of 2013”.

This was most likely inspired by a recent YouTube video produced in Pyongyang depicting a blurry photo of Jong-un falling over a bunch of stick figures – symbolizing America – to the tune of “Funky Cold Medina”.

“I’ll admit, I have no idea what it meant,” said one viewer.  “But it was a lot more creative than the usual ‘Obama will bring about the end of the world’ and  ‘war on whatever holiday we think doesn’t glorify Jesus’ material Fox has been throwing around for the past few years.”

The North Korean leader has sworn that he will destroy America, and also South Korea, and “anyone else he can think of”.

“I’ve got nukes, dudes, and I’m gonna use ’em,” he said in a broadcast earlier today.  “Really guys!  Why are you looking at me like that?”  He then proceeded to stamp his feet, then had a temper tantrum.

Roger Ailes, president of Fox News, expressed his admiration for the North Korean leader.  “It reminded me of what would happen if Glenn Beck ran a country…”

In related news, Fox News accused Jim Carrey of slander due to his recent negative comments about the news network.  “This sort of name-calling is expected from a no-talent comedian has-been Liberal chowderhead.  And you can quote us on that!”

By clavius42

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